第一次
这是我第一次在互联网上收到的笑话，96年，D 同学发给我的，我要发回给 D 看看，问问他还记得不记得这个笑话。当时我对其中的很多段落根本看不懂，现在回头看，明白了很多，也才觉得有意思。那时候，一个八倍速的光驱就是一个工程师最想得到的圣诞节礼物，现在一个48倍速的CDROM都免费了。除此之外，一切都没有变。
那时候用的机器都是最破旧的286，模拟终端，VT100，满是尘土。单色屏幕，那些英文字有时候是绿色，有时候是橘黄。我们为了能够看到 WWW 的内容，就在上面装 Lynx 的浏览器，全部文字界面，用 TAB 键控制连接位置，连鼠标都没有，真是简陋。但还是玩得高兴的不亦乐乎。
You’re an engineer if…
* you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife”
* your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
* you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
* you want an 8X CD-ROM for Christmas
* Dilbert is your hero
* you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
* you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
* the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
* your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
* your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
* you use a CAD package to design your son’s Pine Wood Derby car
* you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
* at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
* you window shop at Radio Shack
* your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
* you have “Dilbert” comics displayed anywhere in your work area
* you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
* you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera’s flash attachment
* you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is
* you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
* you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
* you own “Official Star Trek” anything
* you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what’s inside
* a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
* you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
* you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
* you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
* you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
* you have never backed-up your hard drive
* you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
* you truly believe aliens are living among us
* you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
* you have ever purchased an electronic appliance “as-is”
* you see a good design and still have to change it
* the salespeople at Circuit City can’t answer any of your questions
* you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
* the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
* you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don’t remember where they are
* you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
* you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
* you have more toys than your kids
* you need a checklist to turn on the TV
* you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
* your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
* you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
* your IQ number is bigger than your weight
* the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work and you rush up to the front to fix it
* you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
* you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
* you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
* your father sat 2 inches in front of your family’s first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
* you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
* you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own handwriting
* people groan at the party when you pick out the music
* you can’t remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
* people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
* you did the sound system for your senior prom
* your checkbook always balances
* your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
* your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
* you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
* you thought the real heroes of “Apollo 13″ were the mission controllers
* you think your computer looks better without the cover
* you think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn’t get enough sleep
* your wife hasn’t the foggiest idea what you do at work
* you spend more on your home computer than your car
* you know what http:/ stands for
* you’ve ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
* you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
* your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours
* your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
* your lap-top computer costs more than your car
* your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate
最后这一条，一直都差不多。
